Katrina Knocks Out Karen

A lot of things got in the way of me blogging lately. Of course the tragic events in New Orleans had me glued to the TV and left me totally shocked at our nation's inept response and the enormity of the destruction. All my bitching about my job and other crazy things in my life seemed so innapropriate. I think it left all of us feeling as we got socked in the stomach, and very grateful for the everyday things we take for granted.

Sure has left me feeling mighty uneasy, however, about what would happen if we got hit big time by terrorists... If we can't respond to a natural disaster without resorting to mayhem, murder and anarchy, what on earth is going to happen, not if, but when we get hit with another attack on our country? In fact, I am actually surprised that the terrorists didn't take advantage of this calamity and strike us when all our resources were focused on the Gulf states. What a disaster on top of a disaster that would have been.

All this has got a lot of us thinking what we would take if we had to evacuate at short notice. God almighty, even if I could decide what exactly to grab, how would I get it all out? And don't we all say, "Oh I'll get it all together NOW in case of any future emergency"... Oh yeah. Right. A couple of days and weeks pass, the news goes onto other things, and we all go back into our complacent way of life.

Now, it's true I do have an earthquake kit .... however, I haven't checked it for years and the batteries that are in there are probably all deader than the Mardi Gras. Not only that, but have you ever thought about WHERE you should keep your emergency kit??? Mine is currently in my living room in a cupboard under my liquor cabinet... Come to think of it, maybe I'll just use the liquor cabinet as my first aid kit! Anyway, it'll probably be my luck that when the big one hits, the walls will collapse between the rooms, and I'll be in the bedroom unable to get to the emergency kit in the living room!! Or what if you are in your car driving? Ok, well, you then have to have one in the trunk of your car. So you see, no matter where you put your emergency kit, you could be in the wrong place at the wrong time. So now we are talking MULTIPLE emergency kits! Gads, I can hardly maintain one kit, let alone more than one.

I like the way they recommend that you put supplies of your prescriptions in there..... have you ever tried to get just your ONE prescription filled from your doctor?!! I can just picture me calling him and saying "Hey, Doc, I need 3 months supply of Vicodin in case of an earthquake"! HA! He'd probably send me to the Betty Ford Clinic. Oh and then they tell you to put EXTRA money in there... WHAT EXTRA MONEY????? I have enough trouble putting money in my wallet! Besides, if I had extra money stashed away, I'd probably break down and rip open the emergency kit as soon as a cute pair of Beverly Feldman shoes came up on Ebay!!!

I always say I would definitely take my photographs. Well, I don't know about you, but my photos are in numerous cardboard boxes, totally ensconced in my closet. I can just picture me hauling these dilapidated boxes out of my apartment in a rushed emergency! NOT! Of course, I would ABSOLUTELY NOT leave without my cat (or any pet I had in my house). If I have to stuff my cat in a pillow case, I will. If INFERMA ....oops.. I mean FEMA, ever stood in my way of me and my cat, I would stuff her under my shirt and pretend I was pregnant! In fact, maybe then I could qualify for extra Red Cross rations!

Then there are the 'important papers' one should take.... Actually, I would be only to glad to have a hurricane or earthquake wipe out most of the papers in my house! Sure would save me time cleaning them up, sorting them and filing them! I hate paper, and am notorious for putting off dealing with paper, so by the time I get around to filing paperwork, most of it is out-of-date by that time and has to be thrown out! However, there are the insurance papers, car ownership papers and birth certificates, etc. that I would want to take. The only problem is that they are filed in my filing cabinet which is also in my closet, hemmed in by those darn numerous boxes of photos, a clunky vacuum with its hose entangled with the broom and my box of wrapping paper! Gads, getting in there and getting any one of those items out on a GOOD day is taxing enough! So this brings up the question of do I take everything I'd want to salvage/save out of where they PROPERLY should be stored and instead put them in a common container? Then where the hell does THAT container go??

Now experts are recommending that we should also have the following items in our emergency kit.... warm, heavy duty clothing, boots, rope, battery-operated radio, candles, canned foods for us and our pets, a practical hat, blankets, bedding or sleeping bags, 3 gallons of water for each person....... Well, excuuuuuuse me...! This is no longer an emergency KIT - this is now an emergency VAN!!! Achhhhh! Where on earth am I supposed to store all this???

Good grief, I think it would just be easier to live INSIDE an emergency KIT!!

Waxing Unpoetic

About those Dove ads that are now everywhere showing ladies of varying body types in their white underwear….. You know the ones I mean.. How can you miss them??!! Geez, what would you have to be paid to do that? I have one of those bothersome ads at my morning bus stop, and, yes, for some reason they bother me.. Why? Is it because they remind me of my own body flaws? Is it because I am so programmed by the media that I only WANT to see only skinny chicks in ads? And yet, the ads make me uneasy for some reason, especially having to stare at this one chick first thing in the morning who neglected to do a bikini wax! God almighty, if they ever did get me to do one of those, and I say IF, as they’d have to pay me a LOT OF MONEY, I’d sure as hell wax my whole body - and even my face (!) - before standing there is ugly white underwear for all the world to see!