MASS TRANSIT VIA POPE MOBILE
This morning I went to Mass. Well, sort of. Watched the whole Catholic Mass with Pope Benedict from Yankee Stadium on cable TV. That's as close to going to church I'll probably get, being the Agnostic I am! What a spectacle it was! With all that angelic music and pomp and circumstance, I thought I died in my sleep and woke up near the Pearly Gates!
Yet, it didn't matter what 'religion' it was, as long as it brought people together in joy and happiness, which it certainly seemed to do. It was truly amazing to see this kind of unadulterated bliss coming out of jaded hard-core New York, and Yankee Stadium at that! And what a refreshing change from all the political and war coverage on TV! I'd rather look at the Pope any day than Hillary knocking back a whiskey!!
Still, I am left with some burning questions:
1. Boxers or Briefs under Benny's vestments?
2. At the end of the event, when Benny went back inside the dugout to change before boarding the Pope Mobile, did his high-hatted assistants personally assist him in the 'Men's' room? And when in there, did he get special embossed TOILET PAPER? I'm sure he didn't have to suffer wiping with the usual Yankee Stadium TP!
3. Is the Pope Mobile equipped with DVD and a CD player? Did he pop in 'Heaven Can Wait' in the DVD on his way to the airport or maybe the song "'Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life"'!?
4. Did anyone else notice the red-hatted Cardinal who, at the end of the event, whipped off his holy red hat and put on a Yankee's ball cap?! (Yes, this really happened!)
In any case, I have to admit that I really do admire Benny. At 81 years old, he obviously is very sprite and aware of all that was going on around him, including all the jokes, songs and screaming during the Mass. Indeed, Benny is a Rock Star! Imagine how excited all those nuns were today! Probably the closest thing to orgasm they'll ever feel!! And all those lucky people who got to kiss His Eminence's Ring! They are all now probably expecting good luck to befall them. Knowing my luck, if I ever got a chance to kiss the Pope's ring, I'd probably turn into a Frog!
And now just think of all the items that are going to turn up on EBAY!!! Yellow and white hankerchiefs that 'waved at the Pope', a popcorn cup that has the Pope Mobile's tire tracks on it, Rosary beads that broke during a stampede between a Mother Teresa nun and a grey-haired Catholic Italian lady, a photo of the Pope's foot, or maybe a hot dog with a mustard-smeared image of Jesus on it!
Which all makes me wonder......
..... I wonder if Jesus Christ will get the same media and security coverage when HE comes back?? ~~~~~
This morning I went to Mass. Well, sort of. Watched the whole Catholic Mass with Pope Benedict from Yankee Stadium on cable TV. That's as close to going to church I'll probably get, being the Agnostic I am! What a spectacle it was! With all that angelic music and pomp and circumstance, I thought I died in my sleep and woke up near the Pearly Gates!
Yet, it didn't matter what 'religion' it was, as long as it brought people together in joy and happiness, which it certainly seemed to do. It was truly amazing to see this kind of unadulterated bliss coming out of jaded hard-core New York, and Yankee Stadium at that! And what a refreshing change from all the political and war coverage on TV! I'd rather look at the Pope any day than Hillary knocking back a whiskey!!
Still, I am left with some burning questions:
1. Boxers or Briefs under Benny's vestments?
2. At the end of the event, when Benny went back inside the dugout to change before boarding the Pope Mobile, did his high-hatted assistants personally assist him in the 'Men's' room? And when in there, did he get special embossed TOILET PAPER? I'm sure he didn't have to suffer wiping with the usual Yankee Stadium TP!
3. Is the Pope Mobile equipped with DVD and a CD player? Did he pop in 'Heaven Can Wait' in the DVD on his way to the airport or maybe the song "'Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life"'!?
4. Did anyone else notice the red-hatted Cardinal who, at the end of the event, whipped off his holy red hat and put on a Yankee's ball cap?! (Yes, this really happened!)
In any case, I have to admit that I really do admire Benny. At 81 years old, he obviously is very sprite and aware of all that was going on around him, including all the jokes, songs and screaming during the Mass. Indeed, Benny is a Rock Star! Imagine how excited all those nuns were today! Probably the closest thing to orgasm they'll ever feel!! And all those lucky people who got to kiss His Eminence's Ring! They are all now probably expecting good luck to befall them. Knowing my luck, if I ever got a chance to kiss the Pope's ring, I'd probably turn into a Frog!
And now just think of all the items that are going to turn up on EBAY!!! Yellow and white hankerchiefs that 'waved at the Pope', a popcorn cup that has the Pope Mobile's tire tracks on it, Rosary beads that broke during a stampede between a Mother Teresa nun and a grey-haired Catholic Italian lady, a photo of the Pope's foot, or maybe a hot dog with a mustard-smeared image of Jesus on it!
Which all makes me wonder......
..... I wonder if Jesus Christ will get the same media and security coverage when HE comes back?? ~~~~~
posted by LADYGOLD at 9:52 PM
