THE REVENGE OF ATKINS!! A Pill Isn't the Only Thing I Cut in Half!
Monday morning, back to work, after a lovely weekend attending a country wedding in the wine country. Get into work and discover that there are lots of free bagels in the kitchen at work. I hesitate, standing over the assorted variety of bagels, as I know I shouldn't have them, as I'm trying to stick to the Atkins low carb diet.... However, just the thought of masticating those chewy, yummy cream-cheese-spread round things totally breaks down my will power, and I choose a plump blueberry bagel out of the lot. Pick up a huge serrated knife and proceed to slice the bagel in half.... But in a flash, the bagel turns bright red as I slice MY FINGER instead of the bagel!!
I drop the knife and run to the sink to put my finger under cold water. Blood is gushing everywhere! I try to be indiscreet as I don't want to sound the biohazard alarm! But the blood is coming out faster than it is rinsing away! Someone walks in and sees me. Oh dear. They run to the fridge and proceed to get out an ice cube. Then someone else comes in and proceeds to find the first aid kit. Meanwhile, in the confusion, the knife is left sitting on the table next to the bagels!! Someone finds the first aid kit, and discovers it only has one gauze packet in there and several standard bandaids. I wrap my left index finger with gauze and paper towels with the ice cube on the cut. By the time I get back to my desk, the paper towels are soaked with my blood. The gash is quite deep, and now I'm worried I might actually need stitches. And of course I'm wearing white pants today, so already I have blood stains on my pants and jacket! My co-worker Connie comes over to my desk and tries to help by bringing me more paper towels and bandaids. But everyone is concerned and suggests I call my agency to report an on-the-job injury. I tend to think they are making a bigger deal out of this than need be, but decide to follow their suggestion. My agency and my supervisor then suggest since it's a work-related injury and I have workers' comp, that I go with my agency manager to a nearby clinic! God almighty, I just cut my finger, for pete's sake! Anyway, the agency manager, Joseph, rushes over to our building, meets up with me and takes me by cab to this clinic! Was rushed in like a traffic accident patient and tended to immediately! They soaked my poor little red finger in Betadine and determined it did NOT, thank goodness, need stitches. They just treated it and then 'GLUED' the cut together (yes, glued it!), and put a bandage on it. Took my blood pressure, temperature and gave me a tetanus shot, and then was released to go back to the office! Just then I realized that the bloody KNIFE was still sitting by the bagels!!! Oy vey, and it's only MONDAY!!
Now, I need a pill for the pain, but do I dare get out another pill and try to cut it in half!!!!???
I drop the knife and run to the sink to put my finger under cold water. Blood is gushing everywhere! I try to be indiscreet as I don't want to sound the biohazard alarm! But the blood is coming out faster than it is rinsing away! Someone walks in and sees me. Oh dear. They run to the fridge and proceed to get out an ice cube. Then someone else comes in and proceeds to find the first aid kit. Meanwhile, in the confusion, the knife is left sitting on the table next to the bagels!! Someone finds the first aid kit, and discovers it only has one gauze packet in there and several standard bandaids. I wrap my left index finger with gauze and paper towels with the ice cube on the cut. By the time I get back to my desk, the paper towels are soaked with my blood. The gash is quite deep, and now I'm worried I might actually need stitches. And of course I'm wearing white pants today, so already I have blood stains on my pants and jacket! My co-worker Connie comes over to my desk and tries to help by bringing me more paper towels and bandaids. But everyone is concerned and suggests I call my agency to report an on-the-job injury. I tend to think they are making a bigger deal out of this than need be, but decide to follow their suggestion. My agency and my supervisor then suggest since it's a work-related injury and I have workers' comp, that I go with my agency manager to a nearby clinic! God almighty, I just cut my finger, for pete's sake! Anyway, the agency manager, Joseph, rushes over to our building, meets up with me and takes me by cab to this clinic! Was rushed in like a traffic accident patient and tended to immediately! They soaked my poor little red finger in Betadine and determined it did NOT, thank goodness, need stitches. They just treated it and then 'GLUED' the cut together (yes, glued it!), and put a bandage on it. Took my blood pressure, temperature and gave me a tetanus shot, and then was released to go back to the office! Just then I realized that the bloody KNIFE was still sitting by the bagels!!! Oy vey, and it's only MONDAY!!
Now, I need a pill for the pain, but do I dare get out another pill and try to cut it in half!!!!???
posted by LADYGOLD at 3:00 PM
